| |
 It's difficult when you're single and lonely not to jump into a relationship. However, are you sure you're ready? Ask yourself these top questions to find out if you're ready or better off staying single.
There isn't any guarantee of time that you need to be single before starting a new relationship. Each person has their own time-frame of recovery. It can be pretty tempting to jump into a new relationship, even when you aren't sure you're ready for one. It can make you feel a false sense of security and confidence that you've been lacking. It can also be a mistake. Here are some questions you need to ask yourself before you start dating again:
-
How do you feel? Yeah, it seems like a silly question. But if you're still re-living your last relationship in vivid mental detail and the person you like now reminds you eerily of your ex, you're nowhere near ready. You need to feel secure in yourself, good about the direction you're going in and comfortable being alone before you can try again.
-
Are you done? Are you fantasizing about seeing your ex, when you're escorting a drop-dead gorgeous date? Still hoping for reconciliation or apologies? Haunting the old places you used to go, keeping the mementos or checking in secretly with mutual friends to 'just see how they're doing?' Don't drag someone new into your old relationship. It isn't fair and it's hurtful to all of you.
-
What do you want? Do you want to share yourself, your life with someone, or do you just want them to make you feel good? Using other people to boost your confidence is not just a no-no, it's a disastrous relationship waiting to happen. You're beginning with unbelievable expectations without any balance.
-
Why now? Sometimes finding out the ex is dating is the motivating factor for you to convince yourself it's time. You still might not be ready. If that's the only reason, to prove to your ex you're finished, it's lame. It should be about you- your internal clock. Not theirs. It's giving them the same power now that you're single that they had in the relationship.
-
Is it real? The trip back from recovering from romance can make you impatient and want to hurry the process. It also makes you reckless in your choices and can hinder any progress you've made so far. Sometimes, you just have to let yourself be. Get back to the person you want to be before you start looking for someone to complement you. You'll thank yourself in the end.
You might be dying to get back out into the playing field, or craving a new romance. If you do it for the wrong reasons, if you're dishonest with yourself, you're actually making any relationship impossible. Make sure you're really ready. Look inside before you romantically leap.
|
