The Blame Game Is a Lose-Lose In Your Relationship

Stop the Blame Game In Your Relationship


Couple arguingIt's so easy to get caught up in the he-said, she-said drama when you're in a relationship. We all have our faults- but sometimes it's easier pointing fingers at your partner than it is trying to find a solution. Here's how to stop blaming each other and get back to affection.

No relationship is hiccup-free, and when it comes to disagreements it can be easy to get caught up in feeling righteous. In fact, you know you're right and they're wrong. Yet when you refuse to compromise and only focus on those moments- you're seriously hurting both your relationship and you. How can you get away from the blame game, and get your relationship back on track? Here are a few tips:

Take a Time-Out. It doesn't matter how right you're convinced you are, or how much your partner may have hurt you. Take a breather. Give yourself a minimum of a few minutes to collect your thoughts separately, to think more rationally and consider their point of view, too. A knee-jerk reaction won't solve anything. In fact, it can make the situation much worse. A temporary outburst will only give you guilt later on and could damage your relationship permanently.

Compromise Is Contagious. A relationship is a relationship because it involves two people: you and your partner. There are times you'll have to give in, and times when you should be given leeway. Understanding that, choosing your battles carefully and being aware of what your partner needs most creates a balance. It will also help them be more generous when you support and understanding most.

Revenge Is Weak. When you're feeling vulnerable and angry, it's difficult not to lash out. To try to hurt the other person as much as you feel hurt. You should take the higher ground if you have any respect for your relationship. Getting back at your partner for something they've done (or something you may think they've done) won't change the problem and won't make you feel any better.

Weigh the Pros. It's difficult to feel warm and fuzzy about your partner when you're upset with them. But many times the situations get blown out of proportion to the goodness that they give you, on a daily basis. Don't forget the positive just because you're feeling temporarily negative.

Show Some Respect. You're with your partner because clearly you value them as a whole. That means respecting them by listening to them without interrupting. Acknowledging how they feel. Opening up a line of communication without judgment.

Re-Open Your Romance. You can't change what has happened, but you can move forward. Make moves to closer intimacy and affection. Start the road to patching up things by romancing your partner and reminding them what a great connection the two of you have. Don't dwell on the past, with bringing it up every time you're feeling insecure. Create security in your relationship by moving ahead.

The bumps in the romance road are completely normal. When it becomes a habit to play the blame game, it's destructive to your relationship. Being proactive and sensitive to your partner can ensure that you both step forward to becoming a happier and healthier couple.