One of the largest difficulties in relationships is dealing with past boyfriends and lovers. When you're married, it can be even more trying. How do you deal with your wife's sexual past without hurting your relationship?
We all have our romantic histories. It's not easy to deal with our partner's romantic histories, however. Just thinking about your wife's sexual past can create jealous streaks and insecurities. You mentally compare yourself to her stories, her past, and wonder if you measure up. While it's natural, it can be destructive to your marriage. So how do you deal with your wife's sexual past, and move beyond the doubts?
Look At Your Relationship. Typically, if you're having problems in your relationship it exaggerates your insecurities. That puts a focus on her past, on her exes and how you're different. Those differences are precisely why she's with you now. Keep that in mind when you're letting your jealous imagination run wild. Start trying to make your relationship better and deal with the problems- not her sexual past.
Be Honest With Yourself. It's extremely easy to point fingers at her partners- but what about yours? She's dealing with your sexual past, too. How do you see your exes? What's different about her, and what do you know about her exes? Think about it rationally rather than emotionally, as hard as it might seem. If you're finding fault with yourself, make changes.
Face Your Fears. What exactly is bothering you most about your wife's sexual past? Is it that you're questioning your own performance in the bedroom? Or that she was much more experimental with other partners? Talk to her openly about it. And once you've discussed it, let it go. You can't cling onto the past if you want a healthy and happy future with her.
Focus On Your Wife. You both came into the relationship, the marriage, with romantic histories. She's still the same woman you fell in love with, regardless of her sexual past. Take a look at all of the things you love and adore about her. Is your wife's sexual past and agonizing over it worth more than your relationship? Is your bruised ego more important than your marriage? Weigh the pros and cons before over-reacting and hurting her.
It is always a struggle and a constant in dealing with your wife's sexual past, but it doesn't have to be. Dealing with your own issues will help you get over any insecurities her sexual past might bring up, and it will strengthen your relationship in the end.