In every marriage, there are dry patches, rough patches and just plain 'patches.' Where the romance has been long gone, the relationship is going through the motions and the comfort of your partner is more like a buddy than a lover. The inevitable question to ask yourself is: are there any benefits to an extra-marital affair? What, specifically, are the downsides to having an extra-marital affair? And lastly: is it worth it to have an extra-marital affair? Weighing the emotional costs of what you could lose, compared with what you might gain could help you decide.
Personal Happiness: Yes, it sounds selfish. Almost unforgivably so. But there are times in every person's life when they have to choose their own happiness. Will the new person or attraction make you happier? If the answer is yes, if they've helped remind you of who you are- or you can feel like a new and better person, then clearly the choice would be to at least try it. New partners can complete emotions. When you're romantically happy, it's reflected in all aspects of your life.
It Could Save Your Marriage: Having an extra-marital affair could benefit your marriage by saving it. Instead of giving up, moving out and divorcing- it could hold you together. When you're not unhappy in your home, or miserable with your partner you become a better partner. Many affairs are usually temporary and short-term, that could help bump your marriage through a bad patch. This is especially important when children are involved.
Revenge: If your partner has had an extra-marital affair, it's a way to pay them back. Another benefit of having an extra-marital affair is to even out the scorecard in the relationship. That way, it's not always a one-sided blame game. Not to mention that there must be problems in the relationship, and an extra-marital affair may help you work them through. It's also a confidence-booster that you can be attractive to someone else, too.
Losing Everything: You might be unhappy with life right now the way it is, but can you imagine if you lost it all? An extra-marital affair isn't just losing your partner, but the house, the children and the style of living you're used to. It could cause a huge disruption in your life, and it might take a long time to recover from it.
The Grass Isn't Greener: While an extra-marital affair can look good on paper, applied to real life it can be a disaster. Getting used to a new partner and their expectations. Juggling your home life and the demands of the new relationship can be emotionally exhausting, because lying taxes your body and mind. Keeping up appearances on both sides is twice the work. Are you ready to invest that much effort in an extra-marital affair?
Certainly, some of the benefits of having an extra-marital affair are tempting. In the end, the only one who can make that decision is you. The benefits might outweigh the drawbacks.